self care

3 Secrets For A Successful & Happy Life

Do you want more joy in your life?

I know it sounds like a silly Q but seriously. . . Do you want more joy in your life?

Today, I wanted to share my best 3 secrets for a successful & happy life.

But before we get into it, there’s something I wanted to share with you. Do you agree that social media is a place that shows the easy side of our lives?

On social media we take snapshots of our life, of our day, of our children, of ourselves, & share them on social media. So it's very very simple for us to make those snapshots look easy, look amazing, look positive all the time because we filter the hell out of those! This is the easy part of social media, this is the truthful part and a lot of you are living in that good enough condition - things are good enough, things are fine, things aren't bad so they are good by default & then when someone says how are you - you say I'm fine & I want to challenge you to STOP accepting good enough.

Good enough is not good enough. Being fine is not fine. I want to rattle your cage. You are worth more. You were made for more. You deserve more than that & so many of you have lost the joy & I want to help you to be happy in the moment, in YOUR moment, in THIS moment.

Being happy isn't the thing in the future, having more joy in your life isn't something you need to strive for, it's something you can have in this moment, right now, wherever you are. No matter what's going on, no matter what struggles you are having, no matter what financial hardships you are facing, it doesn't matter. Finding joy in this moment, in every moment is the secret of true lasting happiness, It's not elusive or your emotions aren't a ping pong ball; so I've bottom down to 3 steps.

Before I get into it, I want you to do an experiment. For the next 2 weeks, I want you to follow these 3 steps. Are you ready?

Let's go! 3 Secrets for a successfully happy life -

1) Assess your life

By assess your life I don't mean I have 2.5 children, I have 2 dogs, I'm married, I work here, I have this home. . . NO!

I want you to really assess your life, take a pulse of your life, take a check point of your life - how do you feel? How are you feeling your life - right now? your situation? in your moment. . .how do you feel?

Do you feel powerful? Invisible? Scared? Joyful? Overwhelmed? Exuberant? There are so many things. . but how do you feel in your life?

And more importantly than that, when you are taking a pulse of how you feel & you are accessing that life I need you to look & feel - Is how I feel a direct response of situations around me?

Are you happy because you had a good day & then the next day are you pissed off because things went bad? Meaning, are the situations around you or experiences around you dictating your emotions to where you are just a ping-pong & you totally have no control? If it's so, the next 2 steps are going to be so important for you.

Are you in control of your emotions or is the day or the circumstances are in control?

Once you access your life, take that emotional inventory, be really real & raw, no body's going to see what you write down or what you assign to your feelings except you, unless you want to share it with someone in your life. SO feel safe to say the real words.

Once you've done that we move to step 2.

2) Look at how you numb yourself.

Look at how you numb yourself every single day. Here are some instances / ways you that you might be doing - alcohol, medication, eating/indulging in food, shopping / spending money, coming home & turning on Netflix for a 10 hr binge. . . anything that causes your mind to go somewhere else to escape the situation or a feeling. How do you numb yourself?

One of my biggest numbers has been alcohol - when I'm scared, I'm stressed out, when I'm sad - "I just need a glass of wine to feel better". And a lot of you might be like - Meagan but that's normal, we are Americans or a glass of wine everyday, there's no problem there.

And there's no problem there but when the cause behind it is to numb an emotion, you've really got to STOP, LOOK & THINK! Ask yourself - "Is this something I need or is it something that's more destructive?". Same thing with food.

I'm stressed out, I feel like crap, whatever the reason may be, I used indulge in food. Let me eat yummy food or let me just eat a piece of cake that then becomes a piece of cake & a cheese cake, a piece of cake, a cheese cake & some left overs & on & on so I can get lost in this activity instead of thinking about what's coming.

Write down the things that you use to numb yourself. Maybe amazon is your number, you go on amazon & you mindlessly shop to get that thrill, that addiction, that perk, that happiness for a second to change how you feeling right now.

We're going to learn how to not go to the numbers so you are not having to fix a broken record but you are actually living in joy no matter what's going on around you! It's okay to acknowledge the things you go to for numbing yourself so you can let them go.

Look at those things so you can give them up for 2 weeks & see how you feel.

3) Find your center

Find something everyday that motivates you, find something that brings you to the center, find something that brings you back to your happy place.

Maybe that's meditation, maybe that's working out or personal development, maybe it's plugging into a podcast, maybe it's listening to a motivational speaker, maybe it's kicking ass in your biz, maybe it's going for a walk, maybe it's journal-ling, maybe it's reading a book or singing a song, whatever it is it's yours.

You've got to find something that you can do every single day to raise your vibe. It has to become a part of you, it has to become a habit that when you don't do it, you feel like there's something completely lacking.

You've got to really invest in it because here's whats going to happen. It's going to go back to number 2. So when you plug into something that gives you the spark, that gives you the happiness, that makes you feel successful or complete; something that raises your vibe so when the trigger comes that you want to do the thing that numbs you, you've got your "go-to".

And for 2 weeks you are going to plug into that thing that brings you back to your joy & to your happiness, that resets your vibe.

Here's what it's going to do to your subconscious -

1 - It's going to bring you back to your joy, you are going to be mindful of coming back to your job instead of choosing a number.

2 - It's going to show your subconsciousness that you can trust yourself. It's going to show your subconsciousness that you are in control of your emotions, not your day, not your circumstances, not how your biz is doing etc. You are showing yourself that you are truely in control of how you feel and once your subconscious can really accept that and your ego can take a back seat, you start being happy & joyful in every single moment of your life. You start being joyful right now, in this moment no matter what this moment is, you have control.

I'm not saying you'll never be sad, stressed or angry, you'll have those feelings but you'll always have joy & when you experience those things you realize that they are nothing more than just experiences. They are just moments that too shall pass.

But in that heart, you've got that powerful joy!

So I challenge you guys if you are willing to do this with me for 2 weeks -

Step 1 is assess your life and where you are in it right now & are your emotions your emotions or are they reactive to things around you? I know most of you are going to say - I'm reactive/ I'm a ping pong as people & situations around me dictate how I feel.

Step 2 is being real and figuring out what are the things you reach to to numb your emotions when your vibe is low or when you are feeling crappy?

Step 3 is deciding to no longer numb the crappy moments but to raise the vibe to that joyous state so you are no longer in numb-vile. And you believe in yourself, you empower yourself and watch it spread into your relationship, into your business, into your health, in your body & into your spiritual experience. It's going to spread into your light that you are putting into the world.

Self Care vs Being Lazy - What's the difference?

So many times we confuse the term self care with being lazy as they are surprisingly tied together. If you spend an afternoon relaxing, taking a long bath & binge watching Netflix, is it being lazy? May be... May be not!

Let’s look at the difference. . .

Being lazy means you are avoiding tasks that you should be doing where as self care is re-charging yourself so you have energy to do those tasks efficiently.

You see, self care is about taking time out to rest & taking care of your body so you can -

+ be more productive & efficient

+ take care of those around you

+ reduce stress & anxiety


Whereas, laziness is complete opposite of this. When you are lazy -

+ you are less productive

+ you don't take care of yourself & those around you

+ you are more stressed out


Everyone's idea of laziness is different. You can say if a person is being lazy or taking care of oneself by looking at them & observing their circumstances.

If you are 30yrs old, with no job, living with your parents & being supported by them financially & yet you refuse to go out & groceries -- it's called being lazy.


If you are a mom of 3 kids, working full time, going to gym, taking care of the entire family & decide to spend the Sunday watching Netflix & taking long baths because the kids are at their Grandma's -- it's called practicing self care.


So, who gets to decide if you are being lazy or taking care of yourself? YOU!

Only you can listen to your body & interpret the signals it’s giving out. Self care is listening to your body and the only person who can effectively do that is YOU! It's not being selfish, it's giving yourself an opportunity to fill your own cup before you pour into others.

Therefore next time you don’t feel like doing something ask yourself - am I being lazy or does my body needs some time off to rejuvinate?

Radical Self Care - 10 ways to add more self love in your life

What’s the first thing that comes to your mind when you think or hear the term - Radical Self Care?

If you are not familiar with the term radical, let’s skip that for a moment, will talk about it later & talk about “self-care”.

What are some things you do to take care of yourself? Something you do exclusively just for YOU?

Do you get a massage? Do you color your hair or get a pedicure? Maybe go for a spa or get some quiet time to read? Do you go shopping?

Self-care means different things for different people! As Ruby Warrington, author of “Material Girl, Mystical World” rightly puts it, self-care is a holistic practice. It’s not just limited to rose-scented Epsom salt baths (they are given!!) but a more holistic approach covering the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspect of your life/body.

Why radical?

Self-care is a radical notion for women, especially moms/wives or busy career women that are constantly judged for putting their needs first before others. It’s against the societal norms and hence it’s radical.

Here’s a list of 10 things you can do to add more radical self-care into your life and get started RIGHT NOW! No excuses. You don’t need to get extra things, you don’t need to spend any extra $$ to get started and hence have no excuses to stop you from taking action!

Ready? Let’s Dive in!

  1. Meditation -  Meditation for me is a simple exercise of breathing in & out & making time to have a pulse check with myself. You can meditate in a lot of different ways, from sitting up straight and listening to your breath or you could listen to a guided tune on YouTube or an app on your phone that allows you to quiet that monkey mind; it can also be active meditation in form of walks in nature. Whatever helps you quiet the internal chatter and listen.

  2. Eat Whole - Read it again! I didn’t say diet/ I didn’t say eat a certain way or certain food or go Keto! Focus on eating whole, healthy that makes you and your body happy. It’s a mindset shift.

    Those of you who know me, also know that I was a self proclaimed junk food queen. I still love my junk food, but when I started taking care of myself, started paying attention to my body, putting myself first, those cans of Coke stopped appealing me.
     

  3. Live in the moment -  How many of you struggle with staying in the present moment? Not worrying about tomorrow, not feeling regret over something in the past, just focused on what’s in front of you or what’s happening in THAT moment? I won’t deny, the struggle is real but you’ve got to train your mind to stay in the present rather than staying stuck on that never-ending conveyor belt of past, present, past, present, past present. You got to focus on the present.
     

  4. Move your body -  What are some things that you guys do for your body? Do you go to the gym? Do you lift weights? Do you do cardio? Do you do classes? Do you go for walks?

    I know you can list a 100 reasons why you can’t go to the gym or take a class or take time out to move your body from finances to kids, husband etc. etc. But I want to tell you baby doll they are all excuses! There I said it! You don’t need to spend $$ if you can’t to move your body. There are so many other ways like dancing your heart out, walking outdoors in nature & yoga! All you have to do is make it a priority & take time out!
     

  5. Forgive yourself - A lot of people have 2 different reactions when I say this. 1) But Meagan, what do I forgive myself for? 2) That’s ridiculous! I haven’t done anything wrong!

    If you are the reactive or the latter types, then this point is more so for you! Radical self love starts with forgiving yourself for being so harsh on yourself, setting unreasonable expectations and putting chains or barriers around yourself. If you’re regretting a bad decision you made, or if you wish you’d done something differently, or if you have a habit that you’re trying to give up and it’s hard, it’s probably because you are being hard on yourself. If reading all the pointers & thinking of taking time off for yourself makes you feel undeserving it’s because you are being too hard on yourself and you need to forgive yourself. Replace the ego with love and start working on self-forgiveness journey.
     

  6. Take Time Off - We are always running / doing / going somewhere. And in this hustle-bustle of life, it’s important to take some time off. Just retreat from the world, hang in your white flag and say - I am out!

    Some days, you’re just like, I’m not feeling it today. Maybe it’s a Saturday. Maybe you’re off work, and all you want to do is just unplug, stay in bed and watch Netflix. But we don’t always get to do it! We have kids, husband, family, chores. . . everything that needs us! But it’s okay to just say NO! It’s okay to take a day off, go in hibernation and rejuvenate yourself.

    And for the entrepreneur ladies, just like it’s important to take a day off, it’s equally essential to take a sabbatical from your electronics. Whether you are building a business, or following up with customers put the damn thing down for a few hrs. Not to mention your secondary devices like TVs, computers, gadgets etc. Give yourself some rest by getting away from the constant non=sleeping, non-ending world of social media. It’ll still be here when you’ll log in after a few hrs or even a few days.
     

  7. Epsom Salt bath - Rose scented epsom salt baths are given when it comes to self care. Right?! Just kidding. If you are not a bath person, you can always do looong uninterrupted showers or spa! Personally I love a good long epsom salt bath to raise my vibration. Sale bath not only balances your magnesium, it also affects your physiology and your mindset.

    I will simply soak myself in the bath for 20 minutes let my worries, stress, unbalanced and my funky energy all go down the drain. I visualize all the negative, clogged up energy that doesn’t serve me anymore going down the drain.
     

  8. Trust your intuition - If you are taking care of yourself, meditating, walking in the nature & connecting with yourself, you’re going to build a strong connection with your intuition and to your higher self.
     

  9. Massage - Get a massage or body scrub or spend time doing your own facial. Do something that’s a bit out of the norm, requires planning and gets you out of your comfort zone!

    Do things that you won’t usually do unless it’s a special occasion because you don’t feel deserved or worthy of splurging on yourself. Remember, you are worth of every penny and there is a way to make it happen, and every time you elevate yourself and you step up for yourself and you show up for yourself, and you do for yourself and sometimes you do a little splurge, you’re raising your vibe of what is possible for you. You’re raising your vibe of saying, Alright universe, I get it. I deserve this.
     

  10. Do what you love - Take time out to do something that you love. Be it a job or a hobby. Make a list of all the things that you love doing like activities or people that you want to be around, experiences you want to have, anything & everything that you love and that excites you. Make a list and then make it happen.
     

  11. Practice Gratitude - Bonus radical self love tip - practice gratitude. Be grateful for where you are, what you have, who you are and everyone who’s in your life right now. Your career or business, experiences, things around you. . . there’s so much to be grateful for. Become so grateful & so in love with your life that gratitude just exudes from you and becomes contagious to people around you.

 

What are you going to start doing today? Share how you take care of your self - physically, emotionally, mentally & spiritually in the comments below!